Goodbye Facebook. Hello Life.

I've said it many times in the past 6 months, but I've never actually done it.  There were many reasons that I "needed" to be on Facebook.  I followed my coupon blogs on there.  That is where my Free Kindle Books listing was. Who would take care of the giant fake mansions that I built with the profits from my burgeoning carrotsicles crop?!! The most important reason was that all of my pictures were on Facebook and how do I get them off? 

When I got to thinking about it, all of those things were rather ridiculous.  I can click right over to my coupon blogs and Kindle websites.  I can take my pictures off of Facebook (FYI...it's tedious!).  I can plant real flowers with my children!!  I can actually live my life without Facebook.  I may actually be able to live the kind of life that people pretend to live on Facebook because I'd have the time to do so. 

If I were to be completely honest, I didn't want to leave.  I can keep up with what everyone else is up to!  I can see my sister's coworker's uncle's vacation pictures from their exorbitant vacation to a little known island.  Or, to state it correctly, I can look into the lives of other people whom I don't really have anything to do with on any given day.  Then I walk away feeling lonely and less-than.

I think that this is where Facebook was crippling for me.  I want to be honest here.  I have, for all of my life, struggled with self-esteem issues.  Facebook did not help this!!   On Facebook, I had about 85 "friends."  In the last month do you know how many of those "friends" called, wrote, or visited me?  Six...and that number includes my mother and 2 sisters.  Pre-Facebook, this would have been just fine.  That would have brought contentment.  My mother and sisters are my favorite friends.  The other three people are ones that are very near and dear to me.  To have that many people close to my heart should be enough, but I found myself being discontent.  This realization was the start for me. 

I started to feel very sad that none of these 85 people were actually active in my life.  I started to look at the pictures of my 85 "friends" and ask myself, "Why am I never included in these dinners, outings, play dates, cooking dates, etc etc etc.?"  I saw pictures of what other people were doing with their children and questioned my own mothering.  I started to wonder what was wrong with me.  I started to wonder about my worth.

But, you know what, I do indeed get out with my friends.  We have fun!  I do indeed take my children to fun places.  We cook together and play games and act silly.  I just don't write about all of that or put up pictures of every teeny tiny thing that we do.  There's also a lot of regular life that happens.  Some days my children don't listen.  Some days I yell.  Some days I don't get out of pajamas.  Some days we eat oatmeal for dinner.  Those are the things that happen in everyone's lives, but they don't talk about it.  So, not factoring that in was really skewing my view of what was real.

I realized that I'd rather talk to my friends on the phone and hear their voices.  I'd like to know how her day really was and be able to tell from the inflection in her voice if there's something deeper.  I don't want to just know that "Today Bubbanator and Lil' Bub Jr. III went to Al's BBQd things while I rested at home."  I want to know that she was disappointed that she didn't get to go dig into some BBQd things.  Or I want to hear that she is excited that she actually got to stay home and paint all 10 fingernails at once! 

I want real life and not just a picture that I put a fictional story to.  I don't want to be given permission to be lazy and not call simply because I feel like I already know everything that is going on.  Because, in reality, I don't.  






 

Just ask.

We've all heard "you have not because you ask not."  I have heard it in countless sermons and seen it written in several places, but I confess that it has always just been "sermon talk" to me. Tonight I understand it. 

I have not because I ask not.....not because the Lord doesn't want me to have it, but because I haven't bothered to ask Him for it.  I haven't given Him the time to say, "Oh, sure!  Why not?"  It's like my own children.  For instance, today Olivia wanted a pear.  There really was no good reason NOT to give it to her, but I wouldn't have necessarily thought to do it.  Then she asked, and I thought, "Well, sure.  Why not?"  She said thank you and walked away happily munching on her little green treasure.  Olivia asks for stuff all of the time!  I often say no, but later she asks for something new....sometimes she asks for the same thing again.  The point is that she asks!!  For all of the "no" responses she may get, she still knows that, if it is something that is good for her, there is a very good chance that I'll say ok.

Really, how simple is this?  How did I not get this?  I'm a smart girl.  I read my Bible.  I know it says ask.  How did this one little thing fly right over my head?  How many little green treasures could I have walked away with had I simply asked? 

I sort of feel like a whole new world of possibilities has opened up to me.  How generous is He?!  I'm going to ask!  You ask!!  Oh where to start? 

Where are you going to start?

Happiness is...

--Watching the children pretend to be Perry and Dr. Doofenschmirtz (if you don't get this reference, you don't know what you're missing!).

--Spending an hour and a half on the phone with my sister. 

--Laughing so hard in that hour and a half that I finally believe that milk can, indeed, come out of your nose if you laugh too hard.

--Knowing that a friend made it safely to her destination.

--Noticing the blossoming of new friendships.

--Watching Olivia's "washing up" dance.

--Teaming up with Kevin to make Benjamin laugh after his "I don't neeeeeeeeed a nap" nap!

You know it's hot when.....

....you worry about hanging your clothes outside because they may shrink in the heat!!  Might as well put them in the dryer, I suppose.

If blogs could yawn....

...then this one would stretch its arms and do just that.

I've missed you, fun friend.

Fun times in Mountain View, Arkansas

These are just some of the fun things that the children did in Mountain View, AK.  Benjamin seemed to be especially fond of the blacksmiths.  He wanted to see them no matter where we went that week.  Who knew?!

 This was the first thing we stopped to do.  Geocaching!!  The fact that it was in a VW made it even sweeter.  The fact that it was 109 degrees (seriously!!!!) almost melted the baby into a blue puddle!

 The children loved the swimming every night.  We let them stay up late in order to swim.  Our uber white family sunburns so easily that we just decided to swim at night.  We had the pool to ourselves every time.  Benjamin's great accomplishment was jumping into the 8 foot water (with a life vest) and swimming.  Fun!

 Handsome, sweet boy!

 I love pictures of Livi walking with her Daddy.  Awww.

 This was very interesting to us.  First, it has a tree growing out of the center of a huge rock.  COOL!  Second, Kevin said it reminds him of Aslan's Table.

 Now, usually I don't find spiders, spider webs, spider monkeys, or spider veins to be interesting.  But, a funnel-shaped web is something else.  One of the ladies at the Folk Center told us what kind of spider it was.  It was something simple like Funnel Spider, but I don't remember now.  Sadly, some hooligan sweet, forest-dwelling animal destroyed it the next day, so we didn't get to enjoy it any more.  Bah!

 Benjamin made a corn husk doll in this room.  I cannot even imagine working in the awful heat in the dresses that these women wear!  Makes me thankful for today's more casual attire.

The final result.  Even though it was a super cool doll, he was only impressed by the turkey feather!

 Marching past the flowers. 

 Now, THIS is my kind of pet.  Clean, low maintenance, quiet, dumb as a block of wood.  Ah, it must be because he's made of a block of wood.  I don't know who is more amused...me or Olivia.

Old school clothes washing.  

Olivia's not sure if she likes this idea very much.  Smart baby!

Benjamin LOVED this.  "We should get one of these for our house.  It would be so much fun to wash clothes like this," said the boy with the clothes that magically appear, cleaned and folded, in his dresser.

Yeah.  Again, smart baby!!

I think that Olivia's favorite part of this trip was the animals.  She got to see quite a few.  I thought that she'd be afraid, but she wasn't.  Benjamin was our child who would not enjoy this. 

Looking for the perfect spot on the Picnic Swing.

This was pretty cool.  I think that they would have ridden forever if the donkey would have kept going.  The donkey was expressing his opinion about independence on this day.

Benjamin was quite fond of the printing press.  He loved how the gears and things worked.  He is his father's son. He even offered to organize all of the letters that the lady had!!  

The GIANT letters!

MmmmHmmmm!

This was the leather shop.  I think that Benjamin was more interested in the lady's machine than he was in her leather working.  She really did pretty stuff.  Oh, am I the only one that thinks that leather smells gross?  Seems as though I'm the odd one in this too.

I really liked her hair doohicky things.  I had to try it out.  Very pretty, but not comfortable.

This is the craft area.  Benjamin made a rock necklace.  It was a very intricate design that consisted of 3 rocks from the ground outside and some finger paint.  Benjamin was amazed!  Go figure!

He also got to do a few rows on a beaded belt.  He is good with detail stuff.

Music!!!  Yay!!  This group is actually led by that little 12 year old girl on the right.  She plays the fiddle amazingly well!

There's my little Livi dancing her heart out.  I love that she loves to dance.  Benjamin says, "Mommy, music is for listening to!"

Ummm....I don't know what this is, but Kevin walked around it and looked at it for a while.  He also took this picture.  Feel free to guess at what it is.

This is in the Photo Shop.  This man was so patient!!  He explained how cameras work, how to make various types of cameras, showed Benjamin how to make his own, showed him pictures that he took, etc.   He did everything shy of making dinner for us.  Sheesh!

This was a camera that he had made out of a cereal box!!

I don't remember what kind of box this was, but Benjamin was amazed!!

I think that our sweet babies had a great time!!

Olivia Wears Many Hats!!

This summer we went to Mountain View, AK for our vacation.  It is a nice little town that houses the Ozark Folk Center.  The Folk Center has weavers, blacksmiths, knife makers (yeah, I'm sure it has a fancier name), picnic swings, soap makers, etc.  Benjamin LOVED this place.  One morning while Benjamin was with a group making corn husk dolls, we took Olivia into the gift shop.  She found these hats and that was all she wrote.  Who needs to pay admission into a place when we can just go to random hat stores?!  It was fun!!

Laura Ingalls hat!  She'll be randomly running away from things in fields in no time.

 Dancing in a Dick Van Dyke movie hat!  Old Bamboo, Old Bamboo....

Hm.  I got nothin'

 Super Duper Sunburn Prevention hat!  Well, if one wants a plaid-type sunburn.

 Hepburn Hat!

Suggestions?

 Kentucky Derby hat!  This one makes me laugh!!  I suppose it could be a backup to Sunburn Prevention Hat!

 Help-Please-I'm-Being-Attacked-by-a-Squirrel hat!

 No pictures!  No pictures!  Princess Livi coming through.

 Peek a boo hat, take 1!

Peek a boo hat, take 2!